It Hurts to Carry the Cross
It hurts to take up your cross and follow Jesus Christ. No one really talks about this. I don’t know why.
It has been shocking to me how painful it is to follow the Lord.
Jesus said to deny yourself, take up the cross and follow Him (Matthew 16:24).
In church, they make it sound so easy. Just open your heart to Jesus Christ and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. Nobody reads you the small print – the cost and obligations you now carry. It sounds simple – just love your neighbor. Be kind. Don’t be a jerk (a selfish person).
What does it look like to deny yourself and take up your cross?
At first, people assume it means that you stop drinking, smoking, swearing and hanging out with those who encourage that behavior. You start cleaning up your act, so to speak.
That’s probably the first steps you take as God convicts you that your behavior is not like Him. You start making wiser, more loving choices and it shows in the change of your behavior.
But what does it really mean to carry the cross? It means you die to everything you want. It means you give up your right to have a say in who your friends are, who you marry, how many children you have and what kind of career you pursue. It means you don’t get to choose where you live, how you live or how long you live. Your life becomes a living sacrifice for Him. You die daily, like Paul said (1 Corinthians 15:31).
It is painful. It is not easy. I think if most people knew the cost, they would take it much more seriously when someone invites them to follow Christ.
I know this is not a popular topic. But it needs to be said. I wonder how many people are really willing to follow Jesus if they knew the cost?
It’s a decision you make every day. You no longer live for yourself, you live for Him.
It hurts to carry the cross. You give up everything for Him. And then you do it again and again and again… forever – because He is worthy! He is SO worthy! It is a pleasure to serve Him and lay down your life for Him. And yet … let’s be honest. It still hurts. It is painful to die to yourself, to let the ego-driven desires go.
You think you have given up everything and then He shows you that there’s even more to give. It doesn’t stop.
Is it worth it? Yes! Is it still painful? Yes!
What has been your personal experience of carryng the cross and following Jesus? Did anyone explain the cost to you before you made that decision?
Please comment below – we learn from each other’s experience. I think this is something more people should be honest about because I’ve never heard anyone share their experience of this. Have you?
[P.S. I can hear people saying, “But God let’s you choose some things!” Yes, maybe, sometimes, not often. I can hear others saying, “But God’s plan for you is SO much better than anything you had in mind.” Yes, I’m sure it is. But it’s still okay to acknowledge the pain of sacrifice. Why are people afraid to talk about that pain? It needs to be said so that young believers are not disillusioned when the pain comes. Are we afraid of scaring people away from Christ? If they assume following Christ is easy, then what kind of followers will they be? Let’s be honest with them – they deserve that. 😊]
Touched by an Angel
When I was 21 years old, I went on a missions trip to Mexico. The Bible college I attended was sponsoring the trip and the chaperones were instructors from the school. When I signed up, I didn’t know who else was going to be on the team. There were several mission trips scheduled for that summer to different locations around the globe. I prayed about it and felt I was to sign up to go to Mexico.
After joining the team and finding myself in Mexico, I realized this was going to be tougher than I thought. It was a 4 week trip and I was with a bunch of strangers! The leader of the team was from the athletic department of the college. All the guys seemed very familiar with Coach, as they referred to him. I assume they played basketball on his team at school.
All of the girls on the team seemed to know each other. I only recognized one of them from a few classes we had had together. They spent a lot of time harmonizing together, practicing different worship songs, as we rode many hours in the school’s van to reach the border of Mexico.
I loved to worship, but I knew I had no singing talent. I didn’t know the first thing about harmonizing so that excluded me from their practice. I had tried to take a singing course at the college, but I guess I failed the audition because I was not permitted to sign up for the course.
We had a great time in Mexico, ministering to the very poor. It’s a beautiful country and we were traveling in the mountains. The scenery was full of luscious greens and beautiful flowers everywhere. But the longer the trip went, the more isolated I felt. No one was mean to me, I just didn’t “belong” with this group of people. I didn’t play basketball or any other sport and I didn’t sing. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to be away from everyone who knew me for so long.
One day, feeling particularly lonesome, I left the room where I was staying and went for a walk. We were at a large retreat facility that had many buildings and a courtyard. I went to a nearby building and climbed the outdoor stairway. I sat down on one of the steps. I put my head down and just cried. I felt like no one knew what it felt like to be me, all alone in a foreign land with no one to talk to about how I felt.
Very gently I felt someone put their arm around my shoulders. I assumed it was one of the girls from the team, but I couldn’t tell which one it was. I was a bit embarrassed and didn’t raise my head for a few minutes. I waited for the emotional storm to pass and then looked up to see who was with me.
There was no one there! 😲
I quickly stood up and looked around – thinking maybe they had just left and I hadn’t realized it. But there was no one on the stairs or in the courtyard below.
I sat back down and tried to remember if I had heard footsteps on the stairs. No, it had been silent the entire time.
That’s when it dawned on me – that must have been an angel! 😇
Suddenly I felt a lot better! I recalled the comfort I had felt, feeling someone’s arm around my shoulders. I had assumed it was human comfort, but realizing that it was heavenly comfort made me feel “seen” in the best way possible.
God knew where I was and He cared about my sorrow. He CARED and sent a tangible reminder of that. It blew me away. ❤️❤️❤️
That is a very precious memory for me from that trip – something I’ll never forget. The Lord brought it to my mind last night and I wanted to share it with you.
Have you ever felt the presence of an angel during a time of need? Can you describe what it was like? Please comment below – I’d love to hear your story!
Generational Curses & Blessings
Everyone suffers from generational curses. Most people enjoy generational blessings too. Here’s a brief discussion about this topic. I get asked about this frequently so I decided it was time to write about it.
When someone describes negative patterns in their life, I often tell them to ask Holy Spirit if there’s a generational curse they need to break. Here are some examples
- Getting passed over for promotions in your job over and over
- Unable to stay employed (for various reasons)
- Whenever you are blessed financially, something comes to take it immediately
- Almost everyone in your family has been divorced
- Family history of addiction to alcohol, drugs, compulsive behaviors, etc.
- Family history of trauma and/or abuse
- Family history of severe anxiety or crippling depression
- Family history of mental illness, any kind
- Family history of cancer, arthritis, kidney disease, diabetes, etc.
- Family history of suicide or early death
- Chronic illness
- Accidents happen frequently to you
Generational curses come from choices that were made by previous generations – someone in your family made a bad choice and the consequences were passed down to you. You may or may not have made the same bad choice. You can see this very easily in family traits – your father had a bad temper and so do you. Some of it is learned behavior – you copied what you saw as a child. Some of it can be spiritual – a familiar spirit of anger or impatience that seems to push your buttons so that you get angry easily.
There are entire books written about this subject, if you want to know more. Many books that deal with inner healing and deliverance cover this topic. As you become more healed inside, you stop making bad choices. But when you are still suffering the consequences of other people’s bad choices, that’s when it’s time to consider generational curses.
You may not be aware of how generational curses affect you – most people aren’t. Whenever I see a pattern in someone’s life, that’s the first thing that comes to mind.
The only one who knows whether you are being affected by a generational curse is the Lord – so ask Him! He will show you whatever details you need to know in order to break the curse. It’s not complicated. Breaking the curse is easy. Recovering from the patterns of thinking or reacting that you have developed is what takes time to heal from usually – sometimes they stop immediately, other times it takes daily practice until they disappear from your life (i.e. learning how to respond with patience instead of anger is both mental and emotional).
How to Break a Generational Curse
- Ask the Lord what generational curse is affecting you. Wait quietly in His presence as He shows you. You might see a picture of someone or an event that occurred, you might hear words spoken to your mind or you might simply have a knowing about what happened. It can often help to have someone pray with you to hear from God. Since a generational curse is familiar to you, it can be easier for someone else to perceive them from the Lord.
- Repent and renounce the behavior that brought the curse. You can pray something like this, Lord, I repent and renounce on behalf of myself and my bloodline for participating in __________________. Please wash us of this sin and place your blood, Jesus, on my bloodline to break this generational curse. Thank you, Lord.
- If the Lord shows you anyone that you need to forgive, this is a good time to do that to clear away any bitterness or judgment you have held against someone in your family. You could pray, Lord, please forgive me for my judgment of __(name)__. I forgive them for how their ____(sin)____ affected me and influenced my choices. I release them from the harm they caused me and I let it go.
Generational Blessings
We tend to focus on generational curses because they cause us pain. But there are generational blessings too! These can be invisible to you and it might help to have someone help you discover them. Ask the Holy Spirit to highlight to you the way you have been blessed through your bloodline. Pay attention when older family members tell stories about past generations – there might be a hint in there!
For instance, ever since I was very small, I wanted to be a teacher. I studied to be a school teacher and during my internship, I discovered that I was not cut out for that kind of teaching. So I changed my focus and tried other career paths. Then one day I was going through a safety deposit box at the bank with my mother. She pulled out some really old papers and started telling me about my great grandmother and what an excellent Bible teacher she was. I sensed the Holy Spirit saying, “See? It’s in your bloodline to teach. You have a generational blessing passed down from her.” No one had ever mentioned to me that she was a teacher and no one in my family had followed in her steps. This was a generational blessing waiting to be claimed – I embraced it in my heart as being for me!
That gave me courage to explore how to teach about spiritual things – like through this blog. I have also written books and taught workshops on spiritual topics like cultivating the presence of God at home and at work. The more I have done this, the bolder I have become realizing that I have been blessed in order to BE a blessing to others. Thank you, Lord, and thank you, great grandma Emma, for your faithful service to the Lord to teach His word! 🙂
Another time the Lord showed me a generational blessing, I was at church with my dad. The minister said during the service that my father was a man of great wisdom and that whenever my dad spoke, the minister listened to him. I was surprised! In my family, I did not grow up going to church. It was a recent development that my father had started going to church. When I asked my father about it later, he said his mother had been very connected to God and was also known for her wisdom.
People have often commented on the wisdom I carry and share with others, but I had no idea it was a generational blessing! It was a beautiful surprise and I cannot wait to meet my grandmother in heaven.
We often take good things for granted so you probably have more generational blessings than you realize. Ask the Lord to highlight them for you and He will!
I hope this brief discussion on generational blessings and curses has been helpful. If you have experience with this, please comment below so we can learn from each other. If you have questions, feel free to post them and we will do our best to answer them. God bless you! 🙂
Overcome Rejection – It’s NOT Your Problem
One of the readers of this blog asked me to share some suggestions for overcoming the Spirit of Rejection. A lot of people suffer from attacks from this spirit and don’t even realize it. In fact, the reader who contacted me also had a generational curse of Rejection to overcome. But she’s determined to do it! And so can you!
I’ve met people (and you probably have too) that everyone seemed inclined to reject. It wasn’t even directly tied to their attitude or behavior – you just instantly get this feeling that you should avoid them. Guess what? That’s the Spirit of Rejection! People can be born with a curse of rejection assigned to them (from a generational curse that’s not even their fault). From day one, people reject them. This becomes particularly painful when they reach school age and NO ONE wants to play with them or be their friend. Can you relate? Or do you know someone like that? I do.
When I was in my twenties, I moved to a new city and was getting to know people my age. This one guy came across my path in a group setting and immediately, I wanted to walk away. I was surprised! I hadn’t even made eye contact with him yet and already I was repulsed. I knew something wasn’t right. As I asked the Lord about it, He showed me what the Spirit of Rejection does to someone. It was so sad. Over time, I got to know this guy and he was funny and tender hearted. I could tell he suffered a little bit from social anxiety – probably because he’d been rejected his whole life! I didn’t know then what I know now so I couldn’t help him, but I DID pray for him quite a lot and I hope he found freedom.
Most of us have experienced rejection in some form or another. In fact the fear of rejection is the number one fear that all human beings experience. Let’s talk about how to break it’s power over us!
Rejection is very painful. It can alter our view of ourselves. I would encourage you to make a list of the ways Rejection has affected you. Be very specific. For instance, I used to be afraid to walk into a room of strangers because I was afraid I would be rejected. I felt insecure about meeting new people – there was always this question, Will they like me?
Go through the list and break your agreement with the lies that Rejection has told you. For instance, one of my lies was – You should be afraid to meet new people, they probably won’t like you. That’s a lie! I had to break my agreement with those lies. If you have a hard time identifying the lie, there’s a little exercise called Lie Detector: Self Concept that can help. It’s here: https://establishingthekingdom.com/freedom-exercises/ (scroll down on that page)
Then make a list of the truth about you – the opposite of the lies. For instance, “I’m not afraid to meet new people! People like me!” The Lie Detector exercise helps you identify the truth you need to hear. I did that exercise over and over and over and gathered a long list of truths that I needed to hear.
Say those truths about yourself OUT LOUD every day. Print them and tape them to the wall so you can see them and read them and meditate on them every day. You are training your brain and shifting the way you think about yourself which takes time and effort. Like a parent raising a child, you have to say it over and over and over and over until it becomes the way you think about yourself. Then people will begin to treat you differently based on these truths. I was pleasantly surprised when it started happening to me.
Here’s an example of some of the things I said about myself to cancel the rejection I had experienced:
I am accepted and I belong.
I am appreciated and acknowledged for my contributions to the kingdom family.
What I say is important, valued and received with honor and respect.
I am loved for who I am.
I receive love and respect from other people.
I have faithful, loving, close relationships. I am a blessing to others.
To be honest, when I started saying them out loud, part of my brain would say, “Yeah, right!” with a sarcastic tone of unbelief. I kept doing it anyway – teaching myself the truth. Whether I felt like it or not, I just kept doing it – like going to the gym, I was working on my muscles, getting stronger in the truth.
Two BIG keys 🔑🔑
The first BIG key for me was a revelation the Lord showed me:
You are already truly and deeply loved by God. Other people are meant to love you too. We are commanded by God to love one another. If someone doesn’t love you and rejects you instead, it’s THEIR problem, not yours! Isn’t that amazing?! Rejection is NOT your problem. 💗
Rejection is NOT your problem. 💗
Fear of rejection is what we need to heal from. But whether or not someone rejects you is NOT your problem. It’s a heart issue between them and God. Let that sink in. Ponder THAT.
The second key was identifying a lie about being alone. Feeling rejected can make you feel alone and isolated. This was another big revelation for me – it’s actually IMPOSSIBLE to be alone! If you are a follower of Jesus, you are in Christ and He is in you. You are never, ever alone – you always have all that you need. He is in you – His love, His companionship, His encouragement, etc. You belong to God. Feeling alone and isolated is an illusion! You always have a place to belong – it’s with God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. Your eternal family. 🙂
I know it can be hard to really receive another person’s revelation – so simply ask Holy Spirit, “Will you please reveal to me how I am never alone?” Or, “Will you please reveal to me how rejection is not my problem?”
Healing from the spirit of rejection takes time. You can break it’s power over you in the spiritual realm instantly, but healing your heart and changing the patterns of your thinking takes time and effort.
Here are some videos and books that helped me – my best ones for dealing with rejection:
Inheritance by Graham Cooke – I’ve listened to this one, over and over. SO good!
Father’s Love Letter – another good one to listen to more than once and share with your friends!
Experiencing Fathers Embrace by Jack Frost This is a GREAT book – totally shifted my thinking about God’s acceptance and love for me as a Father. Some of Jack’s teachings might still be on YouTube – you can search for them, if you wish. His family also offers live workshops on this topic now that Jack is with Jesus.
Daddy, You Love Me by Brent Lokker This book WILL stretch you in the way you connect with God.
Whew! That’s a lot. Take whatever works for you – this is how the Lord set me free. Now, when I walk into a room full of strangers, I’m excited! It never occurs to me that they might not like me. God adores me! Why wouldn’t they love me too? 🙂 God’s love has given me SO much confidence in social settings. I used to worry about what people thought of me all the time, but not anymore. What they think is THEIR issue, not mine! And if they don’t like me, I feel bad for them because it’s their loss! LOL 😁
I trust that the Lord will lead you down the perfect path for YOU to become completely free of rejection. It takes time, but it is SO worth it to feel comfortable in your own skin and happy with who you are.
If this post helped you today, would you add a comment and mention which point spoke to you? Or if you have already overcome rejection, please share what set you free! I love to hear other people’s stories. 🤩
God’s Favor – Free Donuts 🍩
God’s Favor – what is favor? It is something in the Unseen room that most people are not aware of. Is favor something you can see? Is it something you can feel? What does it look like? What does it sound like?
The first person I ever heard teach in detail about the favor of God was Lance Wallnau. Search for his name and the word “favor” on YouTube – there may be a recording of his teaching on this topic. It’s worth listening to.
One of the things I remember him saying is that when you have the favor of God, people go out of their way to do things for you that they would not normally do. I guess he had experienced it because he gave examples. For instance, he might be talking to someone at a business and they would say, “We don’t normally do this for our customers, but I just feel I should do this for you,” and they would offer him something unexpected.
Favor might happen in any number of ways. Here’s an example that happened to me this week.
My mother was in the hospital for about a week and then she was discharged. She was home for only three nights when her symptoms reappeared and she had to go back in the hospital for a couple of days. After her second discharge from the hospital, we were driving home and it was getting late. The traffic was heavy and it was going to take us almost an hour to get home. I decided to stop somewhere and have dinner because I could tell that we were both weary. Being in the hospital really takes a toll on your soul.
We stopped at a place that we don’t usually go to because it’s so far from our house. But it was right around the corner from the hospital. We went in and had some dinner – the food was excellent. When we stopped at the restroom before leaving, we saw a connecting corridor and followed it around. To my mother’s surprise, there was a donut shop attached to the restaurant (my mom loves donuts). It was a specialty donut shop with all kinds of really fancy looking donuts.
There was a family there with three small children making a lot of noise trying to figure out who wanted which donut (“No, Mommy, I want the pink one!”). Their mother was giving them a treat because it was the Christmas season and their Elf on the Shelf left them donut coupons, which she gave to the clerk. Mom and I were tired and I was ready to say, “Forget it, let’s just go home.” But instead we waited while they picked out their donuts, including having to translate the flavors and descriptions into Spanish for their grandmother who was with them. Finally they left. Mom and I knew what we wanted because we’d had so much time to look over all the selections. I told the clerk the two donuts that we wanted. He said, “Well, I’m all out of small boxes – the only ones I have are large boxes. Do you mind?” I told him that was fine.
After he placed our two donuts in the box, he said, “Pick out two more – they’re free.” I looked at him surprised. I said, “Free donuts?” He said,” Yeah, go ahead – pick out two more. There’s room in the box.” So we did.
I said, “Well, I guess it’s the end of the day and these donuts probably won’t sell before you close.” He said, “No, I can choose to give free donuts to people at my discretion. Enjoy your free donuts.” 😁
Later as I was talking to the Lord that night, it occurred to me that it was Favor. It was a kiss from God. It was His way of saying, “I see all that you two have been going through in the last few weeks. You’re not alone. I see you – here, have a donut”. Just like a parent trying to cheer up a child. It was so sweet. 💗 We enjoyed nibbling on them on that long drive home.
How have you seen the favor of God? I have often seen it where it comes to my mother. She has tremendous favor everywhere she goes. I’ve often seen favor happen to my husband as well. Especially in the areas of provision. Things just happen for him that don’t happen for other people. For instance, one day he was outside doing yard work. He was chopping a bunch of tree branches and making a big mess. I was thinking, What are we going to do with all this debris? We don’t have a truck or any way to haul it to the dump. I guess we’ll have to chop it up into little pieces and put it in our trash can. (There was a LOT more than 1 trash can full.)
Just as I was thinking those thoughts, a small pickup truck comes around the corner, pulls into our street and stops right in front of our house. A young man comes out of the truck. We had never seen him before. He walks right up to my husband and says, “Would you like me to haul this away when you’re done?” My husband said, “Sure, how much?” I think the kid said 20 bucks. So he waited for my husband to finish and loaded it all in the back of his truck. My husband handed him a $20 bill and said, “Thank you very much.” I have never seen that young man again. He appeared at just the right time, providing exactly what was needed.
That’s the favor of God! At the time, I was shocked! I had never seen such favor in my life. I have since come to see that it is a common thing in my husband’s life. Whatever he needs just shows up and it usually shows up before he even realizes that he needs it. In fact the year that we went to Ireland, it’s like the Lord was emphasizing that to us.
We went on our own to Ireland without a tour – just the two of us. Since we speak the same language (mostly 😂), we figured we could probably manage on our own in a foreign country. There were so many challenges! I was surprised. But I kept noticing the favor of God throughout our trip. Let me explain it through a couple of stories. One time as we were going through the airport, it seemed that we had to walk and walk and walk and walk, pulling our luggage behind us. Our energy was starting to lag. It occurred to me that if we got a luggage cart, we could pile everything on it and it would be much easier to walk the remaining distance that we needed to reach our gate. Just then it dawned on me – we had just passed a machine that gives you a luggage cart when you put money in it. So I walked back and got a cart and it made the rest of our trek much easier! We had not seen one of those luggage cart machines for most of the time we had been walking through the airport. We saw other people using those carts, but we didn’t know where they came from. But it was funny how it didn’t dawn on me until AFTER I passed it – we were so focused on getting to the gate on time. I think the Lord was starting to teach me to pay attention to what we needed and expect Him to meet the need.
Later during our trip we were coming out of a train station. We didn’t know which way to go to get to our hotel so we just started dragging our luggage out of the station toward the curb in the direction of the city. People walk everywhere in Ireland so we thought we would too.
Just then a taxi drove right in front of us without stopping. That’s when it hit me – we need a taxi! He had just passed us so I started waving and yelling and he slowed down and we were able to catch up with him. I don’t think it was the proper place to flag down a taxi. I think we were supposed to walk to a specific place a long way off from where we were and wait for them. But since I saw him and I didn’t see any other travelers near us, I just knew that God had sent him for us. It’s very challenging when you’re a foreigner in an unfamiliar land trying to figure out how to get around. It was such a relief to have somebody realize what we needed and they were there to help us. Throughout that trip God was teaching us that if we will pay attention to what we need and then expect His provision, we will see it right in front of our faces. It took us several tries to learn this lesson. We often “almost missed” His provision because we weren’t paying attention to what we needed. I have since learned to anticipate His goodness for our needs, no matter how small. Even a cheer-up donut! 🍩
Where have you seen the favor of God? For me it’s easier to see it on other people than to recognize it when it happens to me. But I’m learning. Feel free to share your stories below.
The favor of God is an aspect of the Unseen Realm and I think it’s time for us to learn how to enjoy its benefits. Of course, favor can unlock much greater opportunities than a taxi ride or a free donut. But we learn to trust God by taking baby steps! 😊
Related posts:
Freedom from Nightmares & Suicide – Adele’s Story
A reader of this blog contacted me recently with some very good questions! We have been corresponding on various topics, like how to know the voice of the Lord, how to minister using the spiritual gifts God has given her and how to interpret what you see in the spiritual realm.
I am impressed by her hunger for the Lord – she’s 18 years old and is getting water baptized this month. She shared her testimony with me and I wanted to share it with you.
The Tanlines of my Testimony: A Story of God’s Overwhelming Love and Grace
by Adele Chong
I was a kid who seemed to have it all together: I went to church every Sunday morning, rolled in the sandbox at my favorite playground, and waited fervently until Friday so I had an excuse to stay up past my bedtime. However, no one could see beyond the drawn curtains of my house. My house was full of demons.
Centuries of generational curses brought about slews of spiritual attacks in my life. I had nightmares almost every week. A voice in my head would try to convince me to end my own life, that no one loved me, that everyone around me hated me and wouldn’t care if I disappeared. Eventually these years of battling anxiety, depression, and thoughts of suicide drew me to competitive swimming. It was an outlet where I could get high on the rush of roaring water. I thought I had everything I ever wanted: Friends, recognition, love. But what I really had was an idol, a way to calm my demons without delivering me from them.
Everything changed after a swim meet on March 9-10, 2024, where my medals were misplaced. What seemed like a small issue, ignited into frustration and helplessness. Desperate, I turned to my Bible – not to find God, but to fix my problem. I was on His calendar… I just didn’t know it.
After months of silence from the organizers, I knew it was out of my hands. So I surrendered everything to God: My anxiety, depression, thoughts of suicide, and the medals. An overwhelming peace washed over me; it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was God’s love, and it was better than any accolade, any word of affirmation, or any time spent in the pool chasing personal records. And I knew I would be okay. Soon, the organizers wrote back to me telling me they found my medals. I decided to read the Bible after that, starting with the Book of Romans. Then, little by little, something was changing within me. My faith in God had skyrocketed. I had an insatiable hunger for His Word. I longed for His presence in ways unprecedented. The nightmares stopped. The voice in my head disappeared. The dark countenance that loomed over me for 18 years finally lifted.
I don’t write all of this for pity or validation. I write to glorify and honour the One who saved me when I couldn’t save myself. Life as a child of God doesn’t exempt me from suffering; I still have mental strongholds to dismantle. But through His peace and strength, I am dislodging every brick the enemy planted in my mind. I hope this testimony will encourage believers in bondage. If you’re struggling with fear, doubt, and darkness, know this: God’s love is greater than any pain. Surrender to Him, and you’ll find the peace your soul longs for. Only through Jesus can we truly be free.
I hope this inspires you – you don’t have to stay in a place of darkness and defeat. Surrender is the path to Freedom! Perhaps someone you know came to mind as you read this testimony – say a prayer for them and ask the Lord if you should share this post with them.
You CAN be free! You CAN experience God’s Love like Adele did. You can have hunger for God that’s insatiable and faith that lets you know, Everything’s going to be okay. This is totally possible – even for you.
If you have questions, feel free to post them below or contact me. What is God talking to you about that perhaps you need to surrender?
Power Over Chaos: The Enemy’s Worst Nightmare
I had a really intense dream this week that gave me some wonderful deep revelation. Here it is:
I’m alone outside. I observe that the wind is starting to blow. I see all this trash on the ground. It was empty plastic bags – some clear, some white and some light blue. The kind of bags you get at grocery and retail stores.
I was in a semi wooded area and it was kind of ugly. The ground was white dirt. The trees had no leaves, like the way it looks in winter. When the wind started to blow, I noticed that all the plastic bags were being picked up by the wind – it was cleaning the ground.
I was happy about this – I was delighted to watch all the plastic bags being picked up and taken away or maybe just gathered in piles so they could be thrown away.
By watching the bags, I noticed that the wind was blowing in a swirling circular pattern. In front of me was a small lake. I saw that the swirling was centered in the lake and it was getting stronger and stronger. I could hear a voice warning me, Don’t go near the swirling! (As though this was very dangerous and the voice was trying to protect me.)
But it was inevitable for me to be swallowed up by the swirling. There was no way to escape it. It got more and more violent until I was in the center of it in the lake.
There was nothing but chaos surrounding me. It was like standing in the middle of a tornado. I couldn’t see anything – just the sense of being in the middle of this powerful swirling wind.
But instead of freaking out, I started calming down inside by humming two tones over and over. And I knew that as I calmed down on the inside, it would calm the chaos around me. Then I woke up – my husband thought I was having a nightmare and he woke me up (he said I was making noise).
Here are some Insights I received from this dream:
I have been warned to stay away from the chaos. But when chaos surrounds me, I have power over it!
You can stop the chaos without, by bringing peace to the chaos within.
I do NOT need to fear the chaos because greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world (I John 4:4). I bet that terrifies the devil! Maybe I was having his nightmare! LOL 😂
I think the voice that was trying to protect me is either my ego or maybe religion. What sounds like wisdom, but it’s really based on fear. The voice was well-meaning and trying to protect me. It thought that the chaos would harm me. But when I was in the middle of the chaos, I found out that I actually was more powerful than it.
The enemy tries to intimidate us with chaos – he says, “Look at all this craziness you can’t control!! Be afraid, be very afraid!” (If you watch the news or read the headlines – it’s there every day.)
Yet the Chaos is the very thing that reminds me to tap into the Peace within me, which is more powerful than the chaos outside of me. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. I am powerful in Him. It’s time to stop listening to the voice of fear that is trying to protect us. Because in reality we already have all that we need. Nothing can truly harm us. We are safe in the most wonderful way.
I feel such joy! The more I embrace that things around me are out of my control, the more true lasting power I realize I have because I am the one that brings calm to the storm. I don’t have peace by controlling things around me to keep things from getting “out of control”. I have peace because none of it is under my control. I don’t have to control it! I don’t have to manage it in order to have peace and power. Peace and power are already mine – it resides in me as I abide in Christ.
The devil is terrified that we will discover this secret and take away his power by bringing peace on earth.
We are the enemy’s worst nightmare. Not the other way around. I LOVE that!! 😁😍🤣
Wow. Thank you, Lord!! Your kingdom rules over all and we are your ambassadors. We bring Your kingdom wherever we go! ❤️
So what do you think? Does this speak to you the way it did to me? What is the Lord highlighting to you about this dream that you could apply to your life today? Please comment – I love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you for being part of this journey – bringing Peace on Earth. Go be dangerous to the devil! 😎
Angry Intercession – Can You Pray Angry?
The Power of Righteous Anger in Prayer
Have you ever heard to angry intercession? Can you pray while you are angry?
Some people are afraid of their anger. I am not. When you surrender all your heart to Jesus and ask Him to use your emotions for His good and His glory, amazing things can happen – even in anger.
The apostle James said, The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit. James 5:16-18 NKJV
The effective, fervent prayer – fervency is passion and one form of passion is Anger. Does that disturb you? Is it okay as a Christian to get angry?
There comes a time and a place where the follower of Jesus says to the darkness, “ENOUGH!” This is usually said from a place of desperation to see God’s glory, to see His kingdom expand. It can also come from a heart of deep compassion for someone who is in bondage to darkness.
You might have a situation in your life where you have seen darkness prevail and you are tired of it. You have prayed, you have quoted Scripture, you may have even fasted or gotten counsel from a spiritual leader, but nothing seems to be changing.
Then one day, you snap. You say in your heart, “Enough is enough! It is time for this thing to shift now!!!”
Enough is enough! It is time for this thing to shift now!!!
I don’t think it’s something you can come up with on your own. I think it is a holy, divine disatisfaction given by the Holy Spirit that bubbles up within your spirit.
Imagine Jesus on the day he went to the temple in Jerusalem during the Passover feast (John 2). He had been going for years and had seen what the money changers were doing. He knew people were being oppressed by the high prices they charged for the sacrificial animals that were required to present to the priests. You’ve probably felt like those people when you go to the airport or to a concert and they charge $5 for a bottle of water or $6 for a can of soda. You know you can buy water and soda for much less than that at the grocery store so why are the prices so high? Because they know you are a captive audience and you don’t have any other options – they take advantage of your thirst. After years of seeing the corruption, one day Jesus simply said, “Enough!” and he drove the money changers from the temple with a whip! I don’t think He was smiling and saying, “Bless you” as he used that whip. I think He was likely angry or frustrated – the Bible uses the word “zeal”, another word for passion and action combined.
I have experienced the power of righteous anger in prayer and I have taught other people about it too. It occurred to me that this is probably a foreign concept for many people so I decided to write this post.
So many of us have only seen soulish, unholy anger that it hard for us to imagine what holy anger feels like or looks like. Ask Holy Spirit to show you – there is definitely a place for it. Let me give you some illustrations.
I know a woman who had a husband who was not treating her well and not walking with God. She was raised by a Christian family but she wasn’t really seeking the Lord. She turned her heart to God and the closer she got to Him, the more her husband’s behavior was bothering her. She was getting angry but didn’t want to fight with him – she wanted him to repent and turn to the Lord instead. She knew she was powerless to change her husband herself. She told me she took a child’s plastic bat and went outside to a big tree in their backyard. Whenever she got angry, she would swing at that tree and yell out her prayers to God. “You GET HIM, God! I am tired of his bad behavior!!” She just let it out – focused on God, allowing Him to do whatever He wanted to do to her husband. She told me she did it every time she got really angry at the darkness in his life and she didn’t care who heard her (they lived in a neighborhood where the houses were very close to each other). To make a long story short, God did get ahold of him and he later became completely sold out to God! By the time I knew them, he was the associate pastor of our church. He was a wonderful, gentle shepherd who really gave his life for people to come closer to God, both by his example and his willingness to teach them God’s ways. He is now with the Lord but I will never forget him. Her Angry Intercession brought him into his destiny, I believe. Fervent prayer has real power! Give God praise! 🙂
I have experienced this myself at times. I will feel the enemy pressing down on me, pushing me, oppressing me. I don’t usually know why – I just feel it. The longer it is going on, the more aggravated I get. Finally, something in me says, “ENOUGH OF THIS!” and I start yelling at the devil. Sometimes I have done this while driving (because that happened to be when it hit me to release it). Sometimes I have done this while in my living room (when no one is home so I don’t scare them). I let the anger I feel toward the oppression out of my mouth – I release the passion for righteousness that the Lord has placed in my heart. And I see things shift! If the oppression was specifically targeting me – it lifts and I feel at peace. Sometimes the oppression has been for someone else I am praying for in my family – and I see the shift in their life through their attitude or the choices they are making. It’s really quite stunning when it happens. So don’t be afraid of your anger in prayer – it might just be the exact thing that is needed for breakthrough.
Please pay attention to this fact – when you are praying angry, you are not directing your anger toward a person. You are directing it toward the darkness that is affecting you or someone you love.
There’s a Scripture that has always made me wonder what it means – “… the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.” (Matthew 11:12) I discovered that the English translation says “violence” but the original Greek says it more like this: “the kingdom of heaven is forcefully acquired and the forceful are snatching it up”. It’s a deep determination that you are going to get what God has for you and nothing is going to keep you from it!
One key I’ve noticed is that this anger is focused on righteousness. It is not the same as selfish anger, which tends to be focused on you and your own agenda. Does that make sense? You are praying for God’s will to be done, not your own.
So, how about you? Have you ever experienced this righteous anger in prayer? Does this concept bother you? Is it okay to get angry at injustice and then pray that way? What are your thoughts? Please comment below so we can all learn from each other.
By the way, before you are tempted to start quoting verses that tell you to stop being angry, remember that it also says, “Be angry, and do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26) There is a place for Righteous Anger. Would you rather have a God who doesn’t care when injustice occurs? No, God is angry with wickedness every day (Psalm 7:11) and I’m glad because someone should be! Compassion is “love on fire” and when someone you love is being harmed by the darkness, you get angry. That’s holy anger in Love!
Now go be dangerous to the darkness – release God’s light of Love! 🙂
Feeling in the Spirit – What Do I Do With It?
I saw this question posted recently in a group I am in:
“My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, who God has blessed with the gift of discerning of spirits, do you feel things? I find it difficult to talk to people about it without me sounding crazy and at times I feel like I’m going crazy, like there’s something wrong with me. I struggle to work out what is my stuff or other people’s stuff or what I am meant to do with what I feel. Does anyone understand me or experience the same things?”
YES! You are not alone!! 💗
I decided to write out a response to this question because I see it frequently. The person asked if there was a book or something where they could learn how to use this gift of feeling things in the spirit. Unfortunately, I don’t know of a good book on this topic. That’s partly why I started this blog – to share what I’ve experienced to help normalize it for people. And to let them know, You are not crazy and you are not alone – I experience these things too.
So in this post, I’m going to go over this gift of discerning of spirits as it relates to “feeling”. Part of what makes this a bit confusing to discuss is that “feeling” can mean emotional feeling and it can mean tangible feeling – like sensing a presence in your room. Because the feeling gift works both ways, I’ll discuss each one.
Where to start? This is such a deep topic and no one has tackled it sufficiently yet. There are precious few books written on discerning of spirits.
What Do I Do With What I Feel?
Let’s start with what to do because that is usually the first question I hear from people: “I felt __, but I didn’t know what to do about it.” Here’s my 1 step plan: Ask the Lord. When you feel something (whether tangible or emotional), simply stop, pay attention to what you are experiencing and ask, Holy Spirit, what is this? Am I supposed to do something about this? Then wait for a minute or two and see what comes to your heart or mind. Don’t try to figure it out on your own – that’s leaning on your own understanding. If you need to know, God will tell you!
Sometimes clarity will come to you and you’ll know what to do. Sometimes you get nothing. In that case, simply continue on with your day and trust that if it’s important, God will show you more. I specifically ask Holy Spirit because the Spirit has been given to us to lead us into all truth, to teach us things.
When you feel things that no one else appears to feel, you may be tempted to question your sanity. This happens because your soul is trying to interpret what your spirit is perceiving. Don’t let your soul try to talk you out of what you are sensing. You are sensing it for a reason. Just stop and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what to do.
Sometimes you may feel things because it gives you more information about a person or a situation, but you may not need to do anything about it. It’s just information. For instance, today I went to a local farmer’s market. I saw a vendor that was selling pretty rocks, incense, stones with inspiring words carved on them, tea, jewelry and other items. I heard an older lady say, “We are a mind, body, spirit store.” I looked at a younger woman standing behind the table and I perceived her unrest. She was shifting from foot to foot and nervously moving one of her hands. But I felt it first. That’s what made me look up from the table and pay attention to her behavior. I asked the Lord silently inside my spirit whether I should say something to her. In fact, I thought it was ironic that they were selling things promising to give you peace when this woman clearly was not at peace. The Holy Spirit told me not to say anything so I moved along. Later it occured to me that maybe this woman’s unrest was because of demons she may have invited in and they were uncomfortable being near the light that I carry. People who dabble in the spiritual realm using these items often invite guidance from spirits that they think are harmless but later are revealed to be demons with a hurtful agenda.
In case you are wondering if it’s just you, let me assure you – I feel things every day. Everywhere I go I feel things. Do I know what it all means? No. I don’t have to. I’ve learned that in the kingdom of God, information is on a “need to know” basis. If you need to know, God will tell you. If not, just keep going.
So how did I know this was “her stuff” and not “my stuff”? I’ve learned to pay attention to what I am feeling. I was at peace as I was strolling through the farmer’s market. I make it a point to cultivate peace, to bring it wherever I go. So when I felt this unrest in the spiritual realm, I looked around to see where it was coming from. I knew it wasn’t my unrest – it came from outside of me. It wasn’t inside of me.
Feelings on the Inside versus the Outside
There have been times, many times in fact, where I am at home minding my own business and suddenly I feel a negative emotion. It comes out of the blue. I will feel it on the inside as though it is my own emotions. And yet, I was not thinking any thoughts related to that emotion. I wasn’t upset about anything – it just came to me.
What do you do when that happens?
I do the same thing – my 1 step plan. I stop, pay attention and identify what I’m feeling. Then I ask, Holy Spirit, what is this? Am I supposed to do something about this?
It could be an attack of anxiety from the demonic realm – just sent to harrass me. If so, I would pray, “I come out of agreement with anxiety and fear. I command you to leave right now. I cover myself and my household with the blood of Jesus.”
I might ask Holy Spirit if there’s an open door that allowed this attack to enter. If so, I say, “I close every open door to the enemy’s realm and seal them with the blood of Jesus.” If I was the one that opened that door, I would repent.
But maybe this feeling is not an attack. Maybe someone else is feeling anxious or upset. If I am near a friend or family member, I may feel prompted by the Spirit to turn to them and ask, Are you feeling anxious about anything? Maybe this is a word of knowledge as a feeling so that I can offer to pray for them and show compassion for their pain.
Sometimes I don’t get any clarity about who is the one with the feeling so I simply send peace. I might pray, Lord, I don’t know who is feeling anxious right now, but I give this feeling to You. I ask for Your peace to penetrate and saturate this anxiety. I receive Your peace.
This is the role of an intercessor – to bring to the Lord the unrest in the world and release His peace and love to heal the pain that is causing the unrest.
The main thing I try not to do is assume I know what is going on. That would be leaning on my own understanding. Instead, I turn to Him and ask for direction and then act.
If I was not at peace when the feeling suddenly came, it can be confusing to figure out – is this mine or someone else’s? Either way, I simply surrender it to the Lord. I stop and ask for direction. If it was mine to begin with then I certainly don’t want it! Or maybe I was feeling a little off already and this extra emotion was sent to sabotage my day. Still the 1 step plan is my choice of action. I am going to do my best to get back to the place of peace inside and out.
–> I will tell you a secret – the more you get healed on the inside, peace becomes your normal operating environment. Peace and Joy. So when other feelings suddenly come over you, you realize – This is not me! And it’s easier to deal with it. (So pursue inner healing – it’s wonderful!)
As an intercessor, sometimes you may carry an emotion for someone else for awhile. You might feel the heartache of divorce or grief. You might feel the loneliness of abandonment. You might carry a sense of anger over injustice. Keep in mind – you are not meant to carry it for a long time. Keep surrendering it to the Lord and ask Him to lead you in how to release what is needed from His kingdom into the earth – or on behalf of a specific person. He will show you. You will be directed. It might just come as an intuitive understanding of what to do. Just follow His leading.
Feeling Atmospheres
When there is unrest in a nation, you might feel it in the atmosphere. That can feel inescapable! This is very hard if you are a feeler. Sometimes the feeling is only regional. I’ve had times where I could feel so much pressure in the atmosphere around me and I just knew I needed to go for a drive. As I drove out of the area and passed a certain boundary in the spirit, immediately the pressure decreased. A big sigh of relief would come over me and I’d realize it was regional. Often when it is over a large area like that, there’s not much you can do about it other than just endure until it passes. Someday we as a corporate body will have authority to shift the atmosphere over a larger region, but right now, I certainly don’t have that on my own and I don’t know of a local body in my area that does.
Am I Going Crazy?
Last question: How do you know if you are going crazy? This is an excellent question because many of us may feel like we are crazy, especially when no one else seems to sense what we do. First of all, if you are questioning your sanity that’s actually a sign of good mental health. People who have truly lost touch with reality, don’t ask that question. Secondly, find others who have this gift that you can share your feelings with. It really helps to have someone who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit who can validate that what you are sensing is not crazy. The gifts are meant for the body of Christ and having others around you helps you fine tune your gift of discernment. Lastly, ask the Lord. He will confirm to you what is accurate and what is not. You can trust Him. It’s His job to take care of you, including your mental health. 🙂
The main thing is to simply learn to let go of anything you don’t understand. Ask Him about it. Wait for an answer and if nothing comes, just let it go. Don’t get wrapped up in your imagination.
This gift forces you to rely on the Holy Spirit more than anything else! It is vital. You can’t operate in the gifts of the Spirit without relying on the Giver of the gifts! Reading a book or this post might be a little helpful, but God is truly the only one who can teach you how to use the gift He gave you. So press in to intimacy with Him.
I hope this post has been helpful. I am sure there are more questions regarding Feeling in the Spirit. Please post any questions below and we can continue this discussion.
Just as a reminder – you are not crazy and you are not alone. I am a feeler too – there are many of us. We need to stick together. Thank you for letting God move through your feelings – it’s a gift! 🙂💗
P.S. I just remembered a story about this that might encourage you. One time I was in a small group Bible study at someone’s home and I began to feel uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to do about it, but the tension was increasing. I looked around the room and no one else seemed to notice. So I didn’t say anything. Finally, we took a break and had snacks. I went into the kitchen and someone whispered to me, “Did you feel uncomfortable tonight?” I looked at them in surprise! “You felt it too?!” I asked, kind of shocked. Just then someone else walked in and said, “Me too! Didn’t it feel weird?” Then another person joined the conversation and we discovered FOUR of us had felt something was off but since we all assumed we were the only one feeling it, we didn’t say anything. So keep in mind – you are probably NOT the only one feeling what you are feeling, but most of us have no idea how to communicate about the unseen realm with others and we fear sounding weird so we don’t say anything.
Training for God’s Kingdom
Rick Joyner posted this Word for the Week and it really spoke to me. It’s so good that I don’t want to paraphrase it – the way he says these things rings with truth. I have respect for Rick and the many years he has ministered wisdom to the body of Christ to know the ways of God. This is a classic example of how he shares the wisdom he has received from the Lord. So here are Rick’s words:
From the book of Revelation, we can see that the entire church—and the world—will go through great troubles before His coming kingdom. These tribulations are for the purpose of helping the church, and then the world, enter the kingdom of God. As the apostle Paul said in Acts 14:22, “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.” So, tribulations are a gateway to the kingdom for us, and ultimately for the whole world.
[Wow, think about that! Have you ever thought of your tribulations as a gate to the kingdom?! My, my, my – and not just for us as believers, but for the whole world. (my thoughts)]
The Lord said, “In the world you will have tribulation” (see John 16:33). Everyone in the world has tribulations, but as Christians, we can have the great advantage of understanding their purpose and using them to enter the kingdom of God. We’re called to live in the kingdom of God now, not just in the next life. As we’re told in Hebrews 12, the kingdom of God cannot be shaken, so if we build our lives on His kingdom, we will not shake when “everything that can be shaken will be shaken.” That time is upon us, and the Lord is using trials to help us establish our lives on solid ground. This is not just so that we won’t be lost, but so we can pull others out of the quicksand this world is becoming.
We’re called to live in the kingdom of God now, not just in the next life. – Rick Joyner
If we understand our trials, it is easier to derive the maximum benefit from them. This can also make the trials easier to endure, as we know that the Creator and sustainer of all things has promised He will not let us be tested beyond what we are able to endure. For this reason, when we are getting close to the point where we don’t think we can take anymore, we know that the end of the trial is near.
This being understood, we know that the Lord knows much better than we do what we can take. If we trust Him, even when we get to this place we don’t think we can take any more, the longer we can endure at this point, the more our capacity will grow.
As Francis Frangipane used to say, “We never fail one of God’s tests; we just keep taking them until we pass.” If we give up prematurely, we just have to take the test again. So, don’t give up! In Luke 21:19, the Lord said, “By your endurance you will gain your lives.”
As we’re told in Hebrews 12, the kingdom of God cannot be shaken, so if we build our lives on His kingdom, we will not shake when “everything that can be shaken will be shaken.” That time is upon us…. – Rick Joyner
In Hebrews 10:36, we are exhorted, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.” Hang on just a little longer, and it will be over. If we endure, we don’t have to keep going through the same trials over and over. As James wrote, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).
As Winston Churchill said, “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” The book of Revelation reveals how trials are a part of every life on earth, and the earth will go through them until the end of the age to come. As we mature, the trials are no longer just for our maturing, but so we learn to help bear the burdens of others until they can stand. Then, they start to help others. This is when we don’t just have to just count the trials as joy; they truly become joy as we see the victories.
“We never fail one of God’s tests; we just keep taking them until we pass.” -Francis Frangipane
Jesus could have taken His authority over the earth immediately after His resurrection and bound the devil then. He had paid the price to redeem us and the whole earth, so why didn’t He do this and make it easier for us? He did not want it to be easy. If we’re going to be the overcomers He speaks to in the book of Revelation, we have to get the “easy” mentality out of our thinking. He wanted it to be hard so that those who were called to rule with Him could be proven, and have their capacities enlarged, so they could reign standing firmly on His kingdom authority, not their own.
There is a saying that, “If we do not have the experience of growing wealth, we will not have the wisdom to keep it.” This has proven to be true, and it is also true with authority. If we do not have the experience of growing and maturing in kingdom authority, we will not be able to maintain it. Our trials are “training for reigning,” so don’t waste them!
I hope you enjoyed this Word for the Week from Rick Joyner. Did you ever think, Why is life so hard?!! Well, now you know! 😆 We have to remove “easy” from our mentality if we want to be training for reigning, like Rick says. It IS true – trials shake you free from your attachment to earthly things and expectations of what life “should” look like for you. That enables you to start focusing on what cannot be shaken – God’s kingdom, doing things God’s way. It is very hard to go through this process – it’s painful and causes disillusionment with everything you thought you knew about life. But if you can endure, you gain something priceless – proven character to actually sit with Jesus on His throne in the kingdom. He said, “To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.” (Revelation 3:21).
I hope to see you there – sitting with Jesus on His throne – because that’s where I will be! 🙂
Feel free to comment below – I know this is a deep, heavy kind of post. One that may challenge you and that you may not want to hear. I trust Holy Spirit will enlighten your heart in the knowledge of truth and help you receive whatever you need to know to endure the current trial you are in. God bless you. 💗
Discernment of the Supernatural Realm 