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Human Soul Ties

Rating: Educational

What Is A Soul Tie?

Human relationships can be a little taste of heaven or a little taste of hell, depending on the health of the relationship. Often we experience unhealthy relationships because our soul is trying to get another person to meet our needs. People do meet some of our needs for companionship, comfort, love, etc. But when we look to them as our Source of Love – that’s when it becomes unhealthy.

When we become intimate with someone – whether emotionally or physically – we build a bond with that person. We draw strength from the connection. This is what forms the foundation for family and a sense of belonging in a home or community. Some refer to this bond as a soul tie.

There are healthy soul ties and unhealthy soul ties. A healthy soul tie enhances your life – it makes you a better person, it provides strength and support for you to become all that you can be. You might see this kind of healthy soul tie between a husband and wife or between a parent and child.

Unhealthy soul ties have a negative effect on your life. You feel tied to someone in a way that sometimes pulls you down or holds you back. At one point in your life, the soul tie might have been a source of strength, but now it is not. Often this happens when a child grows up and the parents (or the child) have a hard time letting go. The child wants to move on with their life, but they feel a tug or pull to stay close to mom or dad. This can happen even if the person is no longer living – their memory or their desires for your life can still pull on your heart in an unhealthy way.

Another common unhealthy soul tie is with a person with whom you had a past intimate relationship. This could be an old boyfriend or girlfriend, a past roommate or even a best friend. Someone that you spent a lot of time with and shared your life with – especially if you were physically intimate with this person – there’s a good chance you have a soul tie with them. If the relationship is over, but you still have a reaction whenever you hear their name or you still dwell on memories of them, it is likely there is an unhealthy soul tie there. Some part of you is still connected with them and it may be holding you back from fully enjoying your life now.

Soul Ties

Here are some common symptoms of an unhealthy soul tie:

  • You feel emotionally tied to the other person even when you do not want to be.
  • You can’t stop thinking about the person even though the relationship is over.
  • You have an emotional reaction that is unpleasant when someone mentions their name or if you run into the other person unexpectedly.
  • You feel like you can’t move on with your life; you feel tied to the past with the other person.

Can you have both an unhealthy soul tie and a healthy soul tie with the same person? Yes, you can. Breaking the unhealthy soul tie can bring freedom to the relationship so that it becomes stronger and healthier for both of you.

Some of the benefits of breaking an unhealthy soul tie are:

  • You experience inner peace (instead of turmoil over what they may think about you).
  • You feel free to express who you really are.
  • You can make decisions that are best for you, without the pressure to conform to someone else’s expectations.
  • You are able to move on with your life (if the relationship is over).

 hands bound together

Forgiveness is an important part of breaking an unhealthy soul tie. If you are holding a grudge against someone, it ties you to them emotionally. Forgive them from your heart and let it go. Then you can break the unhealthy soul tie. If you try to break the soul tie, but you don’t forgive them, you won’t be able to break the power they have over your life. You’ll still feel connected to them, even if that person is someone you’d rather forget. If you need help choosing to forgive (you know you need to, but you are having trouble), here’s a helpful article.

Break-The-Ties

How to Break a Human Soul Tie

When you are ready to break an unhealthy soul tie, here’s how you do it. Say these things OUT LOUD.

1. Forgive them: “I forgive _(name)_. I release him/her from the harm he/she caused me. I let it go.”

2. Break the tie: “I break the unhealthy soul tie between me and __(name)___. I send back any part of their soul that I have kept and I take back to myself any part of me that they kept. God, please wash me of this connection and restore my connection with You in this area of my soul.”

Excerpt from Freedom through Forgiveness: The Power of Forgiveness Can Change Your Life, Second Edition © 2012. Reprinted with the author’s permission.

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Relationship Brings LIFE

Rolland and Heidi Baker are known for the impact they have made in Pemba, Mozambique. Here Rolland shares what gives them the motivation to keep feeding the hungry, taking care of orphans and working on development in such a desperately poor country. It really makes sense to me, but it’s not what you’d expect him to say. People come from around the world to study their “program”, trying to understand what makes it so successful. His answer is unique.

Rolland-Heidi-Baker

Our years in Pemba, Mozambique have been tumultuous, intense, filled with demonic attacks, violence, threats, opposition from the government, discouragement, theft, loss, disappointments, failures, staff turnover, and the constant, unrelenting demands of extreme poverty and disease all around us. It almost always seemed that our capabilities and resources were no match for the challenges we faced every day, resulting in a level of chaos and stress that literally threatened our health and lives. Heidi and I remember many times when we did not know how we could continue. What motivates us to keep going? How do we stay patient and upbeat when the outlook seems bleak, yet again? It is not found in anything external. It is found in the secret place of relationship with Jesus. Without relationship we are the living dead. When we turn away from relationship to pursue anything else, we lose. We have no strength to give or love anyone.

Relationship  is all that Jesus cares about, all that motivates Him. He could do many more amazing miracles and dazzle the world with His powers, but He is interested only in relationship. The entire creation, all the grandeur of the physical world, and all His works are designed to serve one thing: Relationship.

There is no pressure in genuine relationship. It brings the utmost peace, and washes away all tension. It is the point of living, the substance of existence, the atmosphere of heaven. It motivates to heroic heights, bringing out our best.

As our Perfect Savior, Jesus provides us with relationship. For this He died and rose again on our behalf. And from this tree of life, we can branch out into more and more relationship with those all around us.

We were never meant to be alone for a moment. Our whole motive is to live life and do everything together with our God, to take pleasure in His company always. Our power to live comes entirely from our satisfying relationship with Him.

His presence pursues us. He Himself follows us, responds to us, and takes pleasure in making us happy, for we make Him happy. We care how He feels. We satisfy His longing. To stay close to Him is no effort, but a relief, a release, a door to freedom. – Rolland Baker

Excerpt from Iris Newsletter posted July 16, 2014, www.irisglobal.org