What Is A Soul Tie?
Human relationships can be a little taste of heaven or a little taste of hell, depending on the health of the relationship. Often we experience unhealthy relationships because our soul is trying to get another person to meet our needs. People do meet some of our needs for companionship, comfort, love, etc. But when we look to them as our Source of Love – that’s when it becomes unhealthy.
When we become intimate with someone – whether emotionally or physically – we build a bond with that person. We draw strength from the connection. This is what forms the foundation for family and a sense of belonging in a home or community. Some refer to this bond as a soul tie.
There are healthy soul ties and unhealthy soul ties. A healthy soul tie enhances your life – it makes you a better person, it provides strength and support for you to become all that you can be. You might see this kind of healthy soul tie between a husband and wife or between a parent and child.
Unhealthy soul ties have a negative effect on your life. You feel tied to someone in a way that sometimes pulls you down or holds you back. At one point in your life, the soul tie might have been a source of strength, but now it is not. Often this happens when a child grows up and the parents (or the child) have a hard time letting go. The child wants to move on with their life, but they feel a tug or pull to stay close to mom or dad. This can happen even if the person is no longer living – their memory or their desires for your life can still pull on your heart in an unhealthy way.
Another common unhealthy soul tie is with a person with whom you had a past intimate relationship. This could be an old boyfriend or girlfriend, a past roommate or even a best friend. Someone that you spent a lot of time with and shared your life with – especially if you were physically intimate with this person – there’s a good chance you have a soul tie with them. If the relationship is over, but you still have a reaction whenever you hear their name or you still dwell on memories of them, it is likely there is an unhealthy soul tie there. Some part of you is still connected with them and it may be holding you back from fully enjoying your life now.
Here are some common symptoms of an unhealthy soul tie:
- You feel emotionally tied to the other person even when you do not want to be.
- You can’t stop thinking about the person even though the relationship is over.
- You have an emotional reaction that is unpleasant when someone mentions their name or if you run into the other person unexpectedly.
- You feel like you can’t move on with your life; you feel tied to the past with the other person.
Can you have both an unhealthy soul tie and a healthy soul tie with the same person? Yes, you can. Breaking the unhealthy soul tie can bring freedom to the relationship so that it becomes stronger and healthier for both of you.
Some of the benefits of breaking an unhealthy soul tie are:
- You experience inner peace (instead of turmoil over what they may think about you).
- You feel free to express who you really are.
- You can make decisions that are best for you, without the pressure to conform to someone else’s expectations.
- You are able to move on with your life (if the relationship is over).
Forgiveness is an important part of breaking an unhealthy soul tie. If you are holding a grudge against someone, it ties you to them emotionally. Forgive them from your heart and let it go. Then you can break the unhealthy soul tie. If you try to break the soul tie, but you don’t forgive them, you won’t be able to break the power they have over your life. You’ll still feel connected to them, even if that person is someone you’d rather forget. If you need help choosing to forgive (you know you need to, but you are having trouble), here’s a helpful article.
How to Break a Human Soul Tie
When you are ready to break an unhealthy soul tie, here’s how you do it. Say these things OUT LOUD.
1. Forgive them: “I forgive _(name)_. I release him/her from the harm he/she caused me. I let it go.”
2. Break the tie: “I break the unhealthy soul tie between me and __(name)___. I send back any part of their soul that I have kept and I take back to myself any part of me that they kept. God, please wash me of this connection and restore my connection with You in this area of my soul.”
Excerpt from Freedom through Forgiveness: The Power of Forgiveness Can Change Your Life, Second Edition © 2012. Reprinted with the author’s permission.